I guess I made myself sick somehow? Sore throat, fever, lethargy, bad dreams when I manage to sleep, paranoia.
C’mon fever, why you gotta be like that? Why can’t you just knock me out for good and give me that one thing I’ve always wanted? That way no one could blame me for their misery. It’d be like tripping and breaking something, you know, vague sense of blame but no true responsibility. That would be nice. I could go for some of that right now.
"Whooops, I died."
"Yeah…so, sorry about that."
"Tsk. …Fine, it’s ok. We’ll just get another."
If you think this is a joke then you’re not in college yet.
I hate this picture so much
that is the question.
There’s a douchebag threatening to release a video of me having sex and doing drugs that was taken without my consent. He wanted to hang out, then fuck me, then for me to give him money. I refused to do any of these things. I’m terrified of going to the cops more than I am of the video coming out (various range of fears and anxieties, all from “I’m gonna lose my job and career over this” to “I probably look awful naked” to “if my parents find out they will look at me like a leper” to “why don’t I just kill myself?”) because the questions I would be asked are worse than everyone seeing it. How fucked is that?
I don’t regret that night, it was liberating, and fun. What I regret is that we live in a society where someone is capable of terrorising me with the concept of a societal exodus based on decisions I made with consenting adults behind closed doors. What I regret is that I would face more negative reactions than them, people who lied to me about there being no recordings and who then used my trust to hurt me because I started getting angry about a man being rude to me for rejecting him. Someone wants to hurt me with something that was done to me outside my control because he couldn’t stand to hear a no. And I will suffer more for it than he will. So I refuse to let it hurt me. I’m taking ownership of the situation. It’s out there. I’m right, he’s wrong. People who attempt to shame me can fuck right off.